Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
