she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
