# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
