It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
