i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He told me they were just razor bumps!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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