I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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