are you so shy because you have an std?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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