is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
