So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
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You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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