yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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