I want to make a zoo with you.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Let's get the cat blown out
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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