There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
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we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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