Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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