Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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