BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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