My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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