So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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