I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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