This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
