I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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