She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
