But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
