My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
