i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Jerry, you need to find god
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
