Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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