Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize