i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
