i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize