I wish my penis had an off switch
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
