we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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