I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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