i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
