I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My dick has a subreddit
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize