The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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