and she was petting her beer can
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
