you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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