I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
