theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
