Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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