Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
