if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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