New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
