We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Are we still banned from the library?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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