SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
