You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my being single is dangerous.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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