Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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