absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize