your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
