He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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