Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize