Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
