You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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