This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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