Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
