Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
