I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
