i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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