I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
