I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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