To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
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His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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