Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
