my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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